Monday, February 22, 2010

I'm feeling like I'm pushing up against a brick wall, 
one of those really big strong brick walls,
like the ones Tongans build around expensive houses, 
made from giant rocks.

Not only am I pushing up against this big Tongan rock wall, 
the rest of the world is on the other side pushing against me.

Time
Money
Resources
Options
Answers
Engery

None of these commodities seem to be in adequate supply.

All the people who offer to help can't.
All the people who's help I need WONT.

Sigh.

Tear.

(Stumped silence.)

5 comments:

Unknown said...

=(

Can I help? I am husbandless with lots of free time. Just let me know what you need!

Moran Family said...

My husband and I just had a conversation about how it stinks to be so far from family and the support network it brings. Even though you are so far away from that, know that there are so many people that want you to and know you can succeed. It will soon be all over and though it will be hard to imagine now, you will think of that little island, the food (collect all the recipes you can and then share them with me) and most especially the people. And yes there will be days your child draws on the wall, pours scented oil around the room and puts the puppy in the fridge (I swear Mondays turn my kids into evil little monsters) you will miss the simplicity of it all.

Shelley said...

I love how you wrote that! I live away from family and have few friends where I live. In addition to that, I want a simple life that my family does not want or have. I don't want to keep up with the joneses etc. I am a Canadian looking for an out. But today my brother called and said my extended family misses me 1500km away. Now I read this...is it God speaking? Am I 'supposed' to go back to miserable winters and a busy city to be close to family? Does God want me to do it for them? I am reading your blog because I googled simple life in tonga and your blog came up! I have a Christian friend with 9 children who is thinking of moving there and recently told me about it. So now I am thinking of it...but am confused...and your poem spoke to me and I wrote from around the world and I have no answers yet everyone else has them for me...you are married to someone from Tonga I see. Do you like the simple life there?

Josh, Hayley, and Baby Channing said...

I am so sorry!! When the tough gets going it feels like it just wont stop. Its really hard to be a Mommy. :( We will be praying for you guys. Lots of love sent your way.

Line said...

I hear ya on the lack of time, money, and energy! Especially energy... I am used to not having money... I'm even used to feeling like I don't have enough time to do everything I want/need to... But lately it's been frustrating not having the ENERGY to do the things I want/ned to.

Hang in there... You're just a couple months away from moving back home, and I am certain that the burden will seem so much lighter with your immediate family there to help. In the meanwhile... I'm sure Sarah, my mom, and/or Ashleigh would love to take Malachi off your hands for a few hours or even for a day while you rest or do what you need to. :)